You may think you know lots of medical terms, and if you've had a stroke, you might.  But do you know what they mean?  Here are some that are important to know.

AFO:  Ankle Foot Orthotic.  It's the brace you wear on you lower leg to keep your ankle and foot in line so you don't crash land on the ground (are you getting the feeling that falling is a persistent theme here?).  It's made of white plastic and covers the back of your leg, and is strapped on by various means.  Very fashionable!  Just remember to always wear a long sock, or your leg will wilt!


BRP:  Bathroom Privileges.  Sometimes...if they think you can do your business without falling off the potty and landing on your head.   You generally have to earn this one.

Diagnostic Tests:  This is really a code phrase for "We have these cool new machines and we want to use them"  Also means "We don't have a clue what your problem is, but we'd like to find out."

Heparin Lock:  That nice little semi-permanent needle with the rubber port that they put (usually) on the top of your hand, or some other equally inconvenient spot, so they can give you shots without continually sticking you.  Guaranteed to hang up on covers or clothing and pull itself out, requiring that they put another in!

Nurse:  One of those people who likes to put in the heparin locks.

OT:  Occupational Therapist aka Occupational Terrorist.  They try to make you do things you normally would if you weren't in the hospital.  It's not a vacation, you know.

PCA:  Patient Care Assistant.  Used to be known as Nursing Assistants back in the good old days.  These people are your friends.  They help you do things that you try to tell the nurses that you really can't do.  Be nice to them!

Phlebotomist:  One of those nice people who wakes you up at 5:00 AM to drain some more blood into one (or more) of those little vaccu-tubes.

PT:  Physical Therapist aka Physical Terrorist.  These persons will work you until you sweat, and then make you do more.  They want your muscles to wake up and pay attention.  I tried to tell them too, that I was on vacation.  They didn't believe me, either.

Rehab:  The place where the various therapists are paid to torture you.  My mother told my 4 year-old to tell people that her mommy was in rehab.  Thanks mom!

Speech Pathologist:  No, doesn't mean they want to dissect you.  They are the ones who rub the back and sides of your tongue with frozen glycerin swabs to make you gag.  Ha!  I beat that.  I still don't have much of a gag reflex!  But I did learn how to swallow better and speak more clearly.

Therapy:  Collective term for the various odd things the therapists are paid to make you do.