That's not to say that everything is easy from here, far from it, but the shock has worn off, and after a few weeks of therapy, some things are starting to return and get better.  How much depends on the extent and severity of your stroke, your age (the younger you are, the easier it is for the brain to re-route itself), and how well you do in therapy.  You get out of it what you put into it. 

Above all, the main thing to remember is ATTITUDE!  If you spend your life worrying about what you CAN'T do, then you'll never discover what you CAN.  I try to look at my life as a series of adventures.  I've had some hard knocks besides the stroke (I'll not bore you with those), and the thing I've learned is that how you view your world and situation in life has a lot to do with your quality of life.  I know, I know, it's the old "when the world gives you lemons, make lemonade" attitude.  But, seriously, it's true.  That's why I'm trying to use humor to deal with this.  It's better than spending my days crying and feeling sorry for myself....and believe me, I did some of that, too, at first (still do occasionally).  That's normal, although that word "normal" is not usually used in conjunction with a description of me!  OK, Pollyanna mode off. 

As I said, I've had to learn to modify my life.  I've reduced or eliminated a lot of stress in my life.  I've learned to do housework in spurts.  My ankle is weak and sprains easily....one time I sprained it while I was just standing in place.  I also have a weak knee that will bend too far backward, and gets really stiff if I stay in the same position too long (like sitting for long periods).  I have to be aware of where I step, I used to have to wear high-top shoes, and if I'm not wearing my brace, I still wear an extra insole in my left shoe.  It's one of those arch support insoles you can buy at many stores.  Maybe that's because the muscles are weaker in that leg and are more relaxed, which make that leg shorter.  Or it could just be that I'm naturally lopsided...  The insole seems to even me out so I don't limp as badly.  It also helps with my balance.


I am left with a permanent (I imagine) limp.  But I'm learning to adjust the way I walk.  At first I limped badly, and was embarrassed by it.  I've gradually gotten used to that, and now it's not so hard to tell people I had a stroke.  Sometimes I just tell them I have a bad knee or ankle and leave it at that...I hate those "oh you poor thing" looks of sympathy.  Another blow to my pride came when my doctor gave me the paperwork for a permanent handicap sticker for my car.  I'm not handicapped, or at least I didn't think so.  But I have come to learn to take help when it's offered.  I can walk FROM the car into a store pretty easily, but by the time I'm finished shopping, I'm glad to be parked closer.....I wear out easier than most people.

Speaking of driving.  I had to re-learn how to drive.  My stroke messed with my equilibrium, so when I'd go around a corner....WHEEEEEE...it felt like my head kept going.  Anyway, I started out slowly on the back roads where I could go as slow as I wanted (I live in a rural town).  Once I got the hang of that, I went for short drives on straight stretches on the highway.  It was very scary the first time I did that, but I popped in my favorite Phil Collins CD.  (I've recently discovered the band "Rascal Flatts" and their songs often have a message...see the "And Life Goes On" page...), faced my fear, and tried to relax.  Boy, was I scared to death!  After mastering that, I drove on a highway that had gentle curves, then finally, worked my way up to more curvy roads.  It didn't happen overnight, and I did NOT take any passengers at first.  Now, I'm back to my old driving self...except, I'm probably more aware and more careful than I used to be! 

I was able to return to work that Fall.  I teach special education, and most of my teaching day is spent sitting at my table helping individual students with their work.  My family, friends and students are always willing to help me out when I need it, too.  The problem is making myself ask for it!  I'm a very independent person and I've always managed to take care of myself, so it's really hard to ask....I've been described as being "stubborn".

One more thing.  You have to show everybody, especially your kids (if you have any, and also depending on what age they are) that you are still you!  I established right there in rehab with my little girl that, even though I had a stroke and am not very strong right now, I'm still the mom and she still had to mind me.  Although, she seemed to take way too much joy in flying down the halls pushing me in my wheelchair and me not able to stop.... 

Anyway, it's important for kids to know the same rules still apply, even though there is a temporary bump in the road.  They need that security.  The rest of your family does, too.  They need to know that you are still in there.  I'm now a single parent, and I'm handling it just as I would have had I not had a stroke.  I am trying to enjoy my life to the fullest.  My daughter is still very protective of me, and tries to take care of me.  Sometimes, I let her do things, because it gives her a sense of security, and helps her feel like she's making a difference in my recovery.  She doesn't realize that her very presence gives me the will to keep trying sometimes when I feel like giving up.